August 2012 archive

Herbed Turkey Cupcakes

(As featured on PRIMAL COMPETITOR!)

I watched 4 hours straight of TiVo’d episodes of Cupcake Wars last night…and I felt like I wanted to kick a puppy the whole time because while no, cupcakes are not Paleo, they’re even moreso not competition-friendly.  Yes, I have a weekly cheat meal, but cheat meals are not even cheat meals anymore.  For example, Saturday night I went out with some co-workers and had two–TWO!!–glasses of red wine.  My ONE cheat for the week was red wine.  Um, if you know me at all, you’ll know that until I started this whole thing, two glasses of red wine did not constitute a cheat…two glasses of red wine was a well-balanced breakfast.  Just kidding.  Not really.  Um, wait, what?

OK back to cupcakes.  While I was about to chew my arm off watching bakers go nuts over their creations for the Wedding, I was also perusing M&F Hers and found a recipe for turkey meatballs.  It took a sec, but then I was like, HOLY CRAP…Meatballs + Cupcakes = Turkey Cupcakes.  No need to thank me, I’m just a genius like that.

To give these an extra nutrient boost and pump up the volume a bit, I minced a bunch of veggies and added them to the mix.  They’re super flavorful and moist this way and it’s a sneaky way to get extra veggies in at dinner or snack time.  They’re awesome cold for breakfast, too ;-)


2 lbs Ground Turney

1 Duck Egg (or 1 chicken egg + 1 egg white)

1/2 Onion

1 Bell Pepper

3 c Fresh Spinach

1/4 t Black Pepper

1/4 t Dried Basil

1 t Dried Rosemary


Finely mince the onion, spinach, and bell pepper using a food processor.  Combine with the turkey, egg, and seasonings.

Line 8 Muffin cups with foil liners–I used big ones so depending on the size of your tins you may end up with more.

Bake for 30-35 minutes at 350 degrees.

**Nutrition Facts**

(1/8 of Recipe)

Calories:  162

Fat:  9 g

Protein:  17.6 g

Carbs:  1.5 g

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The Best Effing Protein Pancakes I’ve Ever Had

Oh yeah, I’m 110% serious.

So this morning I fell out of the sky right on my ass and now it’s broken.  Well, to be fair I jumped out of a helicopter completely on my own accord.  And my ass is not broken, but bruised badly and it hurts to sit, run, bend over…you name it.  This is not good.  In fact, it sucks real bad.

But you know what makes everything better?  Motherf*cking pancakes, that’s what.


1 Very Ripe Banana

1 Egg (or 2 egg whites)

1 scoop Vanilla Whey Protein Powder

1 T Ground Flax

1/4 t Vanilla


Mash the banana and beat the egg, protein powder, flax, and vanilla to make a batter.

Cook over medium-low heat for 2-3 minutes on one side till browned, then flip and repeat.  This recipe makes 3 big pancakes.

Top with almond butter or fruit.

**Nutrition Facts**

Calories:  284

Fat:  5.5 g

Protein:  30 g

Carbohydrate:  35 g

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TGIPaleo Bread

I ordered my first pack of Paleo Bread last week.  I was more than a little curious and super excited to make some egg and bacon sandwiches, French toast, and almond butter and jelly sandwiches.  Unfortunately, I got my box today and the bread was COVERED in mold.  Yummy!!

I’m totally going to try again and see if there is a way to expedite my shipment next time–oh, the perils of not stuffing your products with preservatives!  I really, really want to try the stuff and I’m so excited that there’s a booming market for Paleo products.  BUT since I’d been anticipating such bread-y wonders all effing week, I was f*cking furious.  So I got baking.

The ingredients listed for Paleo Bread’s coconut variety are simple–egg whites, coconut flour, water, psyllium, baking soda, and apple cider vinegar.  I started with these as a base and messed around with proportions a bit.  Then I ended up adding a few touches of my own but I think the result was exactly what the doctor ordered!

This bread isn’t too strongly flavored–perfect for sandwiches!–and is sturdy enough to hold whatever you want…eggs, nut butter, lunch meat, etc.  This weekend, I’m going to be making some serious French toast…oh, don’t you worry!


1/2 c Coconut Flour

1/2 c Ground Flax

1/4 c Arrowroot Flour

1.5 t Baking Soda

1/2 t Salt

1.5 c Egg Whites (you can also use 6 whole eggs)

1/2 c Applesauce

1 T Apple Cider Vinegar


Whisk together the dry ingredients.  Add the egg whites and applesauce and combine well–no lumps!  Let the batter sit for 5 minutes.  Stir in the apple cider vinegar.

Pour batter into a greased loaf pan.

Bake at 325 degrees for 1 hour.

**Nutrition Facts**

(1/16 of recipe)

Calories:  60

Fat:  2.6

Protein:  4.2

Carbs:  4.2

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Spicy Aztec Brownies

Don’t know if Aztecs would have eaten a spicy Paleo brownie, but these are definitely Mayan!!  HAHA!!

I know, I’m hilarious.  Thankfully no one could hear me talking last weekend because they were eating my brownies.  I mean, Holy Crap…SO GOOD.

I was in Boulder this past weekend visiting my sister and staying at my cousin’s house…and the biggest mistake anyone can make is giving me free reign of their kitchen.  Especially a NICE kitchen.  Among other things (Bacon Pie, anyone??), these little nuggets of glory were born.  And quickly consumed.  Ah, such is the circle of life.


1 c Palm Shortening (or Coconut Butter)

4 oz Baking Chocolate, melted in 1 T Coconut Oil

1/2 c Raw Honey

1/2 c Full Fat Coconut Milk

2 t Vanilla

3 Eggs, beaten

1/4 c Cocoa Powder

1 T Arrowroot Powder

1 t Baking Soda

1/2 t Cinnamon

1/8 t Nutmeg

1/4 t Cayenne Pepper (add an extra 1/4 t for a real kick!)

1 c Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips


Cream together the palm shortening, melted chocolate, eggs, honey, vanilla, and coconut milk.

Combine all of the dry ingredients and the seasonings.  Add the dry ingredients to the wet and combine well.

Pour into a greased 9×9 inch baking pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.

Remove from the oven and, while the brownies are still hot, sprinkle the chocolate chips on top and allow to melt slightly.

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Primal Protein Pancakes

Yeah, after a whole week of lean meat and egg whites for breakfast I was a hair short of a complete meltdown this weekend…thankfully, pancakes never fail to make everything–EVERYTHING–better.

I got my tub of Simply Pure Nutrients protein powder in the mail on Friday and ever since I’ve been going positively nuts trying to find every conceivable way to put it in everything–it’s THAT GOOD.  It’s got a coconut base and more fat than your run-of-the-mill protein powder, but I think that’s why it actually tastes good.  Funny how that works.


(Serves 1)

1 1/2 T Coconut Flour

1 scoop Protein Powder (I use Simply Pure Nutrients Pro3 Synergy Fuel)

4 Egg Whites

1/4 t Baking Soda

1/2 t Vanilla

Toppings of Choice


Beat your egg whites until frothy.  Add the coconut flour, protein powder, and vanilla and whisk until smooth.  Let stand for 5 minutes.

Heat a *lightly* greased skillet over medium heat.  Pour 1/4 c batter onto skillet, cook for 2-3 minutes on one side, then flip and cook for another 2 minutes.  Repeat with remaining batter.

For the topping pictured, heat 1/2 c blueberries in the microwave for 30 seconds.  Let cool slightly and pour over pancakes.


(For pancakes only)

Calories:  224

Fat:  4.2 g

Protein:  31 g

Carbs:  12 g

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