**This is a re-post from last winter…I probably made a dozen batches of these as gifts and, well…for myself. I made a few tweaks since it went up last year and it’s already making an appearance for this holiday season so I’m sharing again!**
As I was a-stalking the interwebz last year I found this recipe. Couldn’t not do it. Just couldn’t. I love eggnog. I love chocolate. I LOVE that it’s required on pain of death to keep my house full of baked goods during the whole month of December.
So, um…eggnog isn’t Paleo! Oh, wait…I HIGHLY recommend this Paleo eggnog recipe from Health-Bent. (I like maple syrup instead of sugar for this one). It’s totally bonkers, you guys. Even if you’re too lazy to bake it into anything, just do it because eggnog is awesome. I also found some great organic nog at Safeway that’s Primal-friendly (it’s got heavy cream in it), so all hope isn’t lost if you don’t feel like making your own, either. If you’re like a certain husband of mine (*cough*) who doesn’t like eggnog for some godawful reason…just…just get out. Now.
Eggnog Chocolate Chip Cupcakes
1/2 c Coconut Flour
2 Egg Whites
1/2 c Cashew Butter (or coconut oil for nut free)
1/2 t Salt
1/2 t Baking Soda
1/2 t Gluten Free Baking Powder
1/3 c Maple Syrup
3/4 c Egg Nog
1/4 t Vanilla
1/2 t Nutmeg
1 c Chocolate Chips
1 c Palm Shortening *or* coconut oil
2 T Heavy Whipping Cream *or* Canned Coconut Milk
1 t Vanilla
2 T Maple Syrup
Whisk together the dry ingredients.
Beat the eggs, whites, egg nog, butter, vanilla, and maple syrup. By 1/2 cup-fulls, add the dry mixture and whisk until smooth. Fold in the chocolate chips.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Fill lined muffin tins 1/2 full with batter. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until a toothpick.
If you want to do a loaf instead, bake in a loaf pan, same temp, for 50-55 mins.
For the frosting, beat all the ingredients till light and fluffy!
Know what would be awesome? If I could be a size 0 and wear whatever I wanted and look amazing. I whine about this a lot and my husband hates it. Then at some point it dawns on me that I have an almost sociopathic fetish for food and I’m all like, “Oh, wait…if I have to eat like a movie star I’ll go fracking insane.” Which I will. Just ask my husband.
I’m much happier with a bellyfull of pumpkin and maple syrup.
I mean, isn’t breakfast the most important meal of the day? Or something?
No? It’s OK. This makes and great lunch/dinner/snack/pre-WO/post-WO/midnight/3 am/happy hour/whenever kinda deal.
I went for a jog the other day. I pronounce it “YOG”. Mostly because Anchorman has, indeed, had that kind of influence on my life and vocabulary. But also because I sincerely despise jogging…or running, whatever you wanna call it…and I refuse to talk about it with any kind of respect. Today my calves are still screaming at me and I have a bazillion blisters on my feet because, well, it’s been that long. Last time I act on impulse when it comes to exercise. Oh, the weather is SOOO nice today? Let’s go for a JOG, eh? Oh. HELL NO.
You know what IS appropriate for fall weather? Um, pumpkin things. Preferably baked pumpkin things…although I have this weird obsession with the memory of this pumpkin ravioli I used to order at Bacchus in New Paltz, NY after a long day of climbing. They also had like, a million kinds of beer from pretty much every country and if you drank one from every country you got a free T-shirt. PS, I also love(-ed) pumpkin beer. I will seriously make myself your slave for life if you can tell me where to find gluten free pumpkin beer.
I dream about this pumpkin bread. You’ll dream about it, too, you just wait and see. I even made French toast with it. Praise me.
Crunchy Pumpkin Struesel Bread
1/2 c coconut flour
1/2 t salt
1/2 t baking soda
1/2 t baking powder
2 egg whites
1/2 c cashew butter
1/2 c pumpkin
1/2 t vanilla
2 t pumpkin pie spice
1/2 t cinnamon
1 T lemon zest
1/3 c dark maple syrup
1/3 c chopped pecans
1 c chopped pecans
1/2 c shredded coconut
1 t pumpkin pie spice
1 t cinnamon
1 T coconut oil, melted
2 T maple syrup
Combine all your dry ingredients.
Beat the eggs and egg whites with the cashew butter, pumpkin, maple syrup, lemon zest, and vanilla.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet and stir to combine.
Beat with an electric mixer on HIGH for 2 minutes (this step is key to a good, fluffy texture).
Fold in the pecans.
Pour batter into a lined loaf pan.
Combine 1 c chopped pecans, 1/2 c coconut, 1 t pumpkin pie spice, 1 t cinnamon, 1 T coconut oil, and 2 T maple syrup.
Top the batter with the struesel mixture
Bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes, until the bread is lightly browned and passes the toothpick test.
I kind of feel like I live alternately between military and civilian. Mostly because so few of my civilian friends are married, engaged, or even thinking about getting hitched and all my military friends are over here like, “Bitch please…I got married 5 years ago.” Yeah, that was me married at 23. My civilian counterparts are ALMOST done judging me. Oh, except now my military friends are all popping out their SECOND babies. That’s kinda where they left me behind…not only am I not in any way to produce offspring (I’m told it hurts), but the best possible birth control is a good friend with a toddler. Seriously.
Which brings be to my PSA of the week…guys, if you ARE having babies, that’s totally cool. Really. You’re better people than me. But for the love of Christmas can we stop taking creepy infant and pregnancy photos? Here’s a rule of thumb…if you can’t re-create a photo with your adult child without it being normal or at least cute…please, please don’t do it. Or at least don’t put it out there on social media for the world to see. Like balancing your naked baby where your bump used to be…or laying around naked with your naked baby…or tattooing a picture of your naked baby on your bump and taking a picture of yourself with an Abercrombie-like expression. (Yes, I have seen all of those.) Actually, can we just stop taking naked pictures of ourselves and posting them online? Nobody needs to see that. There are special websites for that, and last I checked, Facebook wasn’t one of them (although some of the ads I’m getting have been making me wonder…).
So less naked people. More pancakes.
Yes. Peace, love, and pancakes.
Blueberries N’ Cream Pancakes
3 Green Bananas
2 T Coconut Manna (coconut oil works well too)
2 Egg Whites
1/2 t Almond Extract
1/2 t Cinnamon
1 pt. Blueberries
1/4 c Water
2 c raw cashews, soaked for 3-4 hours
½ c coconut milk
Juice of 1 lemon
1 T coconut oil
1 t vanilla
In a food processor or blender, puree bananas, coconut manna, eggs, egg whites, almond extract, and cinnamon.
Pour onto a skillet over medium heat.
Cook for about 1-2 mins per side, then flip.
In a microwave safe dish, mix the blueberries in the water.
Nuke for 1 minute at a time for about 3 or 4 minutes, until blueberries are juicy and soft.
For the cashew cream,
Soak the cashews in water for at least 2 hours, then drain off the water.
Pulse the soaked cashews in a food processor until you have a fine meal.
Add the coconut milk, lemon juice, vanilla, maple syrup and coconut oil.
Run the food processor until you have a creamy consistency like cream cheese.
Top pancakes with blueberry topping and cashew cream!