Archive of ‘Beef’ category

The Hemingway Burger (or, ‘Papa’s Favorite Wild West Burger’)

*Juicy all-beef burger made unique by Ernest Hemingway’s own secret blend of spices*

A quintessentially American meal for a quintessentially American guy.

The Hemingway Burger -- The Not So Desperate Housewife

For when you happen to be the voice of some of the most evocative works of American literature (despite the insanely minimalist structure–I mean, how does he DO that??) and arguably the most influential spokesman of the Lost Generation.

Clearly my English major is just as useful making hamburgers named after great American authors as for actually, like, reading.

The Hemingway Burger has been making its round on the culinary scene this past year–as a fan of both the author and a nice, juicy burger, I was down. Nothing fancy. No frills. Just enough flair to make it feel a little exotic and avant-garde.

  • 1 lb ground beef
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 2 little green onions, chooped
  • 1 heaping teaspoon India Relish*
  • 2 T capers
  • 1 heaping teaspoon sage
  • ½ t Beau Monde seasoning**
  • ½ t Mei Yen Powder***
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 1/3 c dry red or white wine
  • 1 T oil

Break up the beef in a mixing bowl and add the onions, garlic, and dry seasonings. Blend well—but don’t overmix!—by hand or with a fork.

Let the meat come to room temperature (Hemingway says to leave it out for 10-15 mins).

Add the remaining ingredients and let the bowl sit, “quietly marinating,” for an additional 10 minutes.

Heat the oil in a heavy skillet over medium-high (“hot but not smoking”).

Form 4 patties, and drop them into the skillet.

Turn the heat down to medium-low and fry for about 4 mins on one side.

Crank the heat back to medium-high and flip the burgers over.

After about 1 minute, turn the heat back down to medium-low and fry for an additional 3 minutes.

“Both sides should be crispy brown and the middle pink and juicy.”

Top with lettuce, tomato, onion, mustard, mayo, and ketchup.


*India relish – just use regular old hot dog relish…it’s pretty much the same thing

**Beau Monde Seasoning – Spice Island makes this, but if you can’t find it, just use teensy pinches of allspice, black pepper, nutmeg, celery salt, and mace.

***Mei Yen powder – apparently no one makes this anymore, but to make your own for the purposes of this recipe, use ¼ t salt, ¼ t sugar, and a splash of soy sauce, tamari, or coconut aminos.

The Hemingway Burger - The Not So Desperate Housewife

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Weeknight Chili

What have I accomplished this week? After trying to find out which donut I am, what I’d wear on the red carpet, what Christmas cookie I am, and whether or not the interwebs could figure out how I take my coffee, I’ve discovered that the internet just clearly doesn’t get me at all.

Weeknight Chili :: The Not So Desperate Housewife

I love how my departure from full time work seems to have decreased my productivity to, like, nothing. I had all these plans…like keeping the house clean and getting into awesome shape and taking classes and all kinds of yuppie mumbojumbo. But. Yeah.

Weeknight Chili : The Not So Desperate Housewife

This chili takes less than half an hour to make–from a pile of raw meat to steaming bowl of goodness. Even I’m not too lazy to dump a bunch of stuff in a pot for half an hour. Hearty, spicy, comfort food at its best, y’all.

Weeknight Chili
Prep time:
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Ingredients
  • 1 lb ground beef
  • 28 oz canned diced tomatoes with juice
  • 1 chopped onion
  • 6 oz tomato paste
  • 1 T chili powder
  • 2 t garlic powder
  • 1 t oregano
  • 1 t salt
  • 1 t black pepper
  • 1/4 t red pepper flakes
Instructions
  1. In a medium heavy-bottomed pot, brown your meat over medium high.
  2. Add all other ingredients and give it a good stir.
  3. When chili begins to boil, turn the heat down to medium, cover, and simmer for 15-20 minutes (the longer the better!)

 

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15 Minute MEATZA

I know, I know. Pizza crusts made with meat are sooooo 2010. But, you know, it’s been a while. Cauliflower crusts seem to be dominating and while I’m generally a fan, sometimes I need a wee bit more substance. Feel me?

I had forgotten how seriously quick and easy this was. Like, when I say 15 minutes, I really do mean FIFTEEN minutes. Admittedly, I didn’t even have to chop my own veggies since I’ve been stocking up on pretty much every frozen vegetable pack Trader Joe’s carries. The fire roasted peppers and onions I used for the meatza are seriously the best thing to happen to the planet. I challenge you not to find amazing meals at any time of day that are made better with them. Seriously. Can’t be done.

MEATZA : The Not So Desperate Housewife

Even without a full time job anymore, I somehow feel like I’ve got even less time to lay around and play scientist in the kitchen. Maybe it’s because I notice all the little things that never, ever, in a million years would have bothered me. Like actually folding laundry? Making beds? Ice in my chardonnay? When did I turn into my mom???

In my defense, I’m making a point to take as much off my husband’s plate as I can. Darden is no joke, you guys. As a pre-med last year I know what a huge difference it makes to have someone there to keep things in their place, have the fridge stocked (his classmates seriously subsist on hot pockets and gatorade…ugh), pick up dry cleaning, blah blah blah. Besides, I can just say I’m paying it forward so he can take care of me in med school ;-)

Apologies for the iPhone pictures lately. Camera battery died and I lost the charger…which happens to be an antique that cannot be replaced easily or cheaply. I’m thinking this may be the time that someone finds it in his heart to help me with an upgrade? I do happen to have a birthday coming up next month…

15 Minute MEATZA
Prep time:
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Ingredients
  • 1 lb ground beef
  • 1 lb ground pork
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 c pizza sauce, store bought or home made
  • 2 c shredded mozzarella
  • 1 pkg Trader Joe’s roasted frozen peppers and onions, thawed and drained
  • 1 pkg Applegate Farms pepperoni
Instructions
  1. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.
  2. Combine the beef, pork, and eggs.
  3. Press into a greased baking sheet with some kind of elevation on the sides to prevent leakage.
  4. Bake for 10 mins. Prep you toppings while it bakes.
  5. Remove from the oven and **carefully** drain off the drippings from the pan. Blot the surface of the meatza with paper towels so that toppings will adhere better.
  6. Top with sauce, cheese, onions and peppers, and pepperoni.
  7. Return to the oven for 5 minutes.
  8. Slice and serve!

 

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Cheeseburger Chili (without cheese)

Seriously, y’all. It’s like I put a cheeseburger in a blender. I had this fantastic concoction cooking all day yesterday as we were moving in and our tiny kitchen was thick with the smell of backyard barbecue.

Cheeseburger Chili : The Not So Desperate Housewife

This was our second meal actually prepared in the new house. If you recall, half our house was without power and the AC was out for the whole weekend because things like that just…seem…to happen to me all of the time. I think we’re finally in the clear, but just know for the rest of the year I’ll be afraid to turn on the dryer…20A to start when the whole house is only 60A is terrifying. My only good ideas are to either a) just do laundry out, or b) to designate a laundry day and make sure *everything* is shut off before even thinking about washing clothes. At least our water bill might be lower?

Anyway, this chili. I went ahead and roasted half a butternut squash in foil and just scooped out the inside and dumped it into the crock pot, but in the future I’ll probably just used the canned stuff since a) it takes way less time, and b) I won’t have to turn the oven on. I’m making a lot of lists today. If I’d have been thinking ahead, I’d have thought to get some ketchup and mustard to dump over my bowl and make this even more like a cheeseburger smoothie. Trust me on this one.

Cheeseburger Chili (without cheese)
Prep time:
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Serves: 4-6
Ingredients
  • 1 lb ground beef
  • 3 c mashed butternut squash
  • 1 can (14 oz) diced tomatoes with liquid
  • 2 medium potatoes, cubed
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 1 green pepper, chopped
  • 1 c sliced mushrooms
  • 1 c nutritional yeast
  • 1/4 c apple cider vinegar
  • 1 t onion powder
  • 1 T dry mustard
  • 1 t garlic powder
Instructions
  1. Brown the ground beef in a skillet over medium high.
  2. Place beef in a crock pot with all other ingredients.
  3. Give it all a quick stir and cook on LOW for 6-8 hours.
  4. Serve with your favorite burger toppings.

 

 

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Grilled Beef Heart w/ Lemon and Cracked Pepper Marinade

Grilled Heart w Lemon and Cracked Pepper

When you and your spouse are both funemployed at the same time you get to do some really awesome stuff together.  Like wake up late and sip coffee out on the deck on a Thursday.  Like make breakfast side by side without bitching at each other because one or the other is already running late.  Like just decide on a whim to go take a bike ride along the C&O.  Like head over to the butcher afterwards and freak out the whole place when you ask for a beef heart and the guy says he’ll go see what they’ve got in the back and promptly slams what is most certainly the heart of a wooley mammoth–not a cow–onto the counter. What can I say? We’ve got fertile land.

Beef Heart

“What is THAT??” asks the lady behind me.

“A beef heart!” my husband cheerfully replies. “They’re amazing. And cheap. And are, like, the beefiest beef you’ve ever had!” What we left unsaid was that by eating the cow’s heart we’d gain all of its strength and power.

Grilled Beef Hear with Lemon and Cracked Pepper

Usually the easiest thing to do with a heart is to toss it in the slow cooker—they’ve got enough fat on them that they stay really moist and will flavor whatever accessory vegetables you put in alongside it. A “fancier” way to use it is to cut it into strips or chunks and just do your thing like you would with any other cut of beef. Being a holiday weekend and all, I figured now was the time to take a stab at grilling the thing.

Unlike other organ meats there really isn’t the need to disguise the flavor at all—the heart is a muscle, and tastes like any other muscle meat. If there’s anything distinctive it’s the almost “beefier” taste, if that makes any sense. I’m pretty confident that as long as you cut it right you could serve it to a crowd without anyone being the wiser. This is good because I’m not a huge fan of drowning something in sauce or marinade if I don’t have to…especially not when we’re lucky enough to have our herds raised on sweet, sweet valley grass.

Grilled Beef Heart w/ Lemon and Cracked Pepper Marinade
Prep time:
Cook time:
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Serves: 2-4
Ingredients
  • 1 beef heart, trimmed to your liking
  • juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 T cracked pepper
  • 1 T coarse sea salt
  • 2 T olive oil
Instructions
  1. Cut the heart in half, then place each half in a bowl or dish for marinating.
  2. Whisk together the lemon juice, pepper, salt, and oil.
  3. Pour the marinade over the heart and marinate at least 4 hours.
  4. Grill, covered for 10-15 minutes.
  5. Remove from the grill and slice to serve.

 

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