Posts Tagged ‘Egg Free’

Mocha Cappuccino Chia Pudding

Yeah, I know. I’m going crazzzzy with all this chia pudding.

Mocha Cappuccino Chia Pudding ::The Not So Desperate Housewife

But seriously, what was wrong with me? This is the perfect breakfast. Just mix it all up, toss in the fridge. Boom. Nice cool breakfast option for hella hot days all nice and ready after I stumble out of bed.

Mocha Cappuccino Chia Pudding :::The Not So Desperate Housewife

So this recipe also has sort of a secret ingredient. I use it in pretty much everything. Probably the greatest grocery discovery I ever made.

Mocha Cappuccino Chia Pudding : The Not So Desperate Housewife

Apple pie spice is sorta like pumpkin pie spice but much, much lighter. Maybe because apple pie is a much more summery dessert? I’m freaking out over Fresh Market’s blend, though…it’s got a few extra ingredients that others generally don’t, like lemon peel and fenugreek. Baller.

Mocha Cappuccino Chia Pudding
Prep time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 1-2
 
Ingredients
  • ⅔ c almond milk
  • ½ c brewed coffee
  • 1 T coconut oil
  • 1 T cacao powder
  • 1 t apple pie spice
  • pinch salt
  • 1 t vanilla
  • ¼ c chia seeds
  • sweetener of choice (I don't use any)
  • cacao nibs, for topping
Instructions
  1. Here's the trick to getting this stuff to gel without clumping--mix the coffee and almond milk together and pop int he microwave for just a minute or so, to warm it up.
  2. Add the remaining ingredients, mixing well.
  3. Transfer to whatever bowls or containers you'd like.
  4. Refrigerate over night.
  5. Top with cacao nibs and enjoy!

 

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Cheeseburger Chili (without cheese)

Seriously, y’all. It’s like I put a cheeseburger in a blender. I had this fantastic concoction cooking all day yesterday as we were moving in and our tiny kitchen was thick with the smell of backyard barbecue.

Cheeseburger Chili : The Not So Desperate Housewife

This was our second meal actually prepared in the new house. If you recall, half our house was without power and the AC was out for the whole weekend because things like that just…seem…to happen to me all of the time. I think we’re finally in the clear, but just know for the rest of the year I’ll be afraid to turn on the dryer…20A to start when the whole house is only 60A is terrifying. My only good ideas are to either a) just do laundry out, or b) to designate a laundry day and make sure *everything* is shut off before even thinking about washing clothes. At least our water bill might be lower?

Anyway, this chili. I went ahead and roasted half a butternut squash in foil and just scooped out the inside and dumped it into the crock pot, but in the future I’ll probably just used the canned stuff since a) it takes way less time, and b) I won’t have to turn the oven on. I’m making a lot of lists today. If I’d have been thinking ahead, I’d have thought to get some ketchup and mustard to dump over my bowl and make this even more like a cheeseburger smoothie. Trust me on this one.

Cheeseburger Chili (without cheese)
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 4-6
 
Ingredients
  • 1 lb ground beef
  • 3 c mashed butternut squash
  • 1 can (14 oz) diced tomatoes with liquid
  • 2 medium potatoes, cubed
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 1 green pepper, chopped
  • 1 c sliced mushrooms
  • 1 c nutritional yeast
  • ¼ c apple cider vinegar
  • 1 t onion powder
  • 1 T dry mustard
  • 1 t garlic powder
Instructions
  1. Brown the ground beef in a skillet over medium high.
  2. Place beef in a crock pot with all other ingredients.
  3. Give it all a quick stir and cook on LOW for 6-8 hours.
  4. Serve with your favorite burger toppings.

 

 

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Overnight Bulletproof Chia Pudding

I have been long averse to jumping on the chia pudding bandwagon. Maybe I had a bad experience? I feel like I probably did, since I couldn’t even hear the word “chia” without thinking of gritty, gelatinous goop.

Bulletproof Chia Pudding :: The Not So Desperate Housewife

Well, you guys, when you’re moving and your AC goes out (along with power in half the building) because the ampage in your new house simply cannot handle running the washer and dryer at the same time, you start looking for breakfast options that are, you know, cold. Never mind how the heck I ended up with a baggie of chia seeds in the fridge, but there they were, and gosh darn it if this mess didn’t come out spectacularly. I even ate it out of a little mason jar, since apparently that’s what cultured grown-ups do. Does it count if it was my complementary margarita glass from Joe’s Crab Shack?

Overnight Bulletproof Chia Pudding
Prep time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 1-2
 
Ingredients
  • 1 c hot coffee
  • ½ c almond milk
  • 1 T coconut oil
  • 1 T grass fed butter or ghee (can also be another T of coconut oil)
  • 1 T unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 t cinnamon
  • ½ mashed banana (optional)
  • ¼ c chia seeds
Instructions
  1. In a blender, combine all ingredients except the chia seeds.
  2. Add the chia seeds to a mason jar or bowl.
  3. Pour the bulletproof coffee mixture over the chia seeds.
  4. Refrigerate overnight.

Bulletproof Chia Pudding : The Not So Desperate Housewife

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Southwest Dinner Salad

Valentine’s Day, 2010. My husband (then-boyfriend) and I were attempting to not make a huge deal out of it. And by “not trying to make a huge deal out of it,” I mean that Ross made reservations for us at one of those places where you get a five star dinner while watching a show but didn’t realize until about an hour before we were supposed to leave that the place was in San Antonio (we were in Georgetown at the time). Oops. So we ran out to dinner to a place down the road and that was that.

Southwest Salad

And I got a “Santa Fe Salad.” Funny what you remember.

Anyway, I guess it was good since this salad a part of our dinner rotation ever since. I mean, the date was good, too. Obviously. During the hard-core Paleo years, we just nixed the cheese and corn and used sliced almonds instead of tortilla strips and it was still amazing. So this is totally kosher for clean eaters. Promise.

Southwest Salad 1

My favorite protein to use for this salad is grilled chicken, but salmon (or any other fish) is really great, too. When entertaining, I’ve even made a side salad version…just a tiny one without the protein. As for dressing, you can use anything you want–the original had what was basically a spicy ranch–but I loveLOVElove this avocado dressing with a little cayenne on top.

Here’s a good tutorial for roasting your peppers.

Southwest Dinner Salad
Prep time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 4-6
 
Ingredients
  • 1 head Romaine lettuce
  • 1-2 lbs of grilled chicken or fish, can be hot or cold
  • 2-3 roasted red bell peppers, sliced (see recommendation above)
  • 2 heirloom tomatoes, diced
  • 1 large red onion, sliced
  • 1 (14 oz) can of corn kernels, rinsed and drained
  • 2-3 avocados, pitted and sliced
  • 1 c grated cheddar and jack cheese
  • a few handfuls of corn tortilla chips, crushed
  • dressing of choice (see recommendation above)
Instructions
  1. Make a nice big bed of romaine in a large bowl or on individual plates. I made 5 salads with this recipe, if that helps.
  2. Arrange the ingredients on top of the lettuce, saving the cheese and chips for garnish.
  3. Dress and serve!

 

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Cucumber Salad with Yogurt Dill Dressing

Cucumber Salad w Yogurt and Dill

What with being unemployed and all and not exactly having a place to live until August 1, hubs and I are spending a few weeks with my parents. The older we all get, I’m starting to have more and more respect for how my folks have handled life after the last kid left home 8 years ago. Dad has been 100% retired for most of it and has steadily accumulated projects and community stuff to stay busy whenever he isn’t out on the motorcycle. Motorcycle rallies–the kind with checkpoints and landmarks to find within a 24-72 hour time limit over some region of the country–are pretty much his purpose in life. Mom still works as a nurse but has managed to keep the 3, 12-hour shifts a week for over a decade. I can only hope I’ll be so lucky. She’s been a gardener her whole life but when kids came along and life got busy we didn’t have much besides the flower beds and a few vegetable patches, but the garden beds have multiplied in the last few years to include everything from cucumbers and squashes, corn, beans, herbs, winter veggies, and, to my surprise when I came home last week, collards and kale (“everyone at work was talking about how much they love this stuff called ‘kale’ so I went and got a pack of seeds…). With my dad as a handy helper (he does the garden building and vegetable eating part) and a really commendable renewed devotion to personal health on their part, we can always count on fresh produce at home. So, obviously that brings me to today’s recipe. With the exception of the yogurt, everything here has been freshly grown and that’s pretty darn cool if you ask me.

Since summer is, you know, hot and all, I’ve been doing a *lot* of salads and cold veggies with dinner instead of the typical warm side dishes. Saves time, that’s for sure–one of my husband’s favorite things to toss on a plate next to the main event is a sliced heirloom tomato with salt and a drizzle of melted butter (speaking of which, grilled tomato and butter sandwiches are the bomb and I could probably eat them every day forever).

I got a little…fancy…with last night’s salad, as you can see. The dill was calling my name, I couldn’t resist. I’ve got fantasies of doing this again with some smoked salmon later this week. Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s dying just thinking about it….?

Cucumber Salad with Yogurt Dill Dressing
Prep time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 8
 
Ingredients
  • 1 c Greek yogurt
  • ½ cup (packed) fresh dill, minced
  • 3-4 large cucumbers, sliced and diced
  • 1 large onion, sliced
  • about 2 cups of cherry or grape tomatoes
  • ¼ c apple cider vinegar
Instructions
  1. Toss all the veggies and the dill in a large mixing bowl.
  2. Whisk together the yogurt and vinegar, then pour over the veggies.
  3. Mix until well combined.
  4. Cover and let everything marinate for at least an hour before serving.

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Grilled Beef Heart w/ Lemon and Cracked Pepper Marinade

Grilled Heart w Lemon and Cracked Pepper

When you and your spouse are both funemployed at the same time you get to do some really awesome stuff together.  Like wake up late and sip coffee out on the deck on a Thursday.  Like make breakfast side by side without bitching at each other because one or the other is already running late.  Like just decide on a whim to go take a bike ride along the C&O.  Like head over to the butcher afterwards and freak out the whole place when you ask for a beef heart and the guy says he’ll go see what they’ve got in the back and promptly slams what is most certainly the heart of a wooley mammoth–not a cow–onto the counter. What can I say? We’ve got fertile land.

Beef Heart

“What is THAT??” asks the lady behind me.

“A beef heart!” my husband cheerfully replies. “They’re amazing. And cheap. And are, like, the beefiest beef you’ve ever had!” What we left unsaid was that by eating the cow’s heart we’d gain all of its strength and power.

Grilled Beef Hear with Lemon and Cracked Pepper

Usually the easiest thing to do with a heart is to toss it in the slow cooker—they’ve got enough fat on them that they stay really moist and will flavor whatever accessory vegetables you put in alongside it. A “fancier” way to use it is to cut it into strips or chunks and just do your thing like you would with any other cut of beef. Being a holiday weekend and all, I figured now was the time to take a stab at grilling the thing.

Unlike other organ meats there really isn’t the need to disguise the flavor at all—the heart is a muscle, and tastes like any other muscle meat. If there’s anything distinctive it’s the almost “beefier” taste, if that makes any sense. I’m pretty confident that as long as you cut it right you could serve it to a crowd without anyone being the wiser. This is good because I’m not a huge fan of drowning something in sauce or marinade if I don’t have to…especially not when we’re lucky enough to have our herds raised on sweet, sweet valley grass.

Grilled Beef Heart w/ Lemon and Cracked Pepper Marinade
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 2-4
 
Ingredients
  • 1 beef heart, trimmed to your liking
  • juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 T cracked pepper
  • 1 T coarse sea salt
  • 2 T olive oil
Instructions
  1. Cut the heart in half, then place each half in a bowl or dish for marinating.
  2. Whisk together the lemon juice, pepper, salt, and oil.
  3. Pour the marinade over the heart and marinate at least 4 hours.
  4. Grill, covered for 10-15 minutes.
  5. Remove from the grill and slice to serve.

 

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Gluten Free, Vegan Bread

We finally got all our stuff out of the Baltimore house yesterday—one thing I realized I miss from the Army was the fact that whenever you had to move, some moving company would just magically show up and four hours later, all your stuff was gone. Whether it would make it to where you needed to go was another story but considering we aren’t even taking possession of the new place for a month, I’m not thinking that far ahead. Either way. Moving yourself is awful. Righteously awful.

Fun fact…there is a Law of the Unviverse that states that no matter how hard you try, you will never—NEVER—fit all of your household goods inside your POD, despite more trips to Goodwill than I care to count and a pile of trash bags in the back alley I’m pretty sure could shield the place from a nuclear war. So, that was my weekend.

GFV Bread II

I know baking is probably the last thing anyone wants to do in the middle of the summer, except it’s the first thing I want to do every second of every day of the year so I’m posting this anyway. Y’all know I’ve been on my Vegan kick lately and I recently extended said Vegan kick into the realm of baked goods. I did try to make a Paleo/Vegan bread a while back (I’m still racking my brain for a way to make that happen) but for now I’m settling for this lovely creation.

GFV Bread

 

It’s seriously delicious, not to mention versatile. Dudes, I made French Toast and sandwiches and toast with butter and jam and PBJ andandand they all held up. The pain with GF baked goods of any kind is that they can really be dry and crumbly, and doubly so when you have to eliminate eggs and dairy from the mix. I don’t know what it is about this specific combo of ingredients but it works beautifully. I had to experiment a little—it took me one miserable failure and two not-so-miserable-but-still-imperfect attempts to figure out the magic behind it and here is what I found/the ONE change I made…

  1. When she says mix the ingredients until “just combined,” seriously, yo…do NOT overmix. Mix up all your dry ingredients REALLY well before you add the wet stud and mix by hand slowly and carefully until it comes together. Overmixing will produce a nasty sinkhole.
  2. Only let it rise 30 minutes. I know it says 30-45 but too long and a) it might overflow and/or b) it’ll sink whilst baking.
  3. I added a tablespoon of psyllium husk powder. I swear by this stuff.
  4. Does not freeze well.  I unthawed a loaf I had frozen fresh and it turned to sand.
  5. Let the loaf cool either upside down or on its side. I know some folks think this is an Old Wive’s Tale, but it makes me feel better. So there.

I seriously heart this bread. I don’t care how hot it is. Get the recipe here!

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Pan Seared Pork Belly with Rosemary and Thyme

This is the first time ever that my husband and I have been (f)unemployed at the same time. I give major bonus points, too, since it’s over the summer and we’ve got a pretty sweet vacation schedule lined up. Seriously, not having a job and not having to worry about money doesn’t really happen. Ever. Except it’s happening right now. These are the moments where, you know, being smart and saving cash for the past decade helps you out. And when the GI Bill is as awesome as ever. Five deployments between the two of us almost seems not as craptastic as before. Almost.

What I like about having a year off from school, too, is that I can let the brain fog lift a little and catch up on normal people stuff. Less zig-zaggy chemical figures and renal fluid balance diagrams, more reading books in the sunshine. Books that make me laugh instead of cry. Books I can discuss with my husband over coffee. And by discuss I mean bitch about how pissed I get every time Judd suppresses his feelings while my own husband makes agreeable noises whilst reading the news or intermittently wondering aloud whether it would be better to upgrade some software on some device I totally don’t care about.   If you missed the reference, I’m reading This is Where I Leave You—as soon as I saw that the movie was coming out and that Jane Fonda (love her) and the guys whose name I don’t know but who plays Adam on Girls (LOVE him) were in it I hadhadHAD to read the book. If nothing else, I love watching a movie based on a book and having read said book so I can complain about all the inconsistencies. Yes, I’m actually 80 years old.

Rosemary Thyme Seared Pork Belly

Ya, so pork belly. Delicious, obviously. And since I have tome on my hands to do things like read a real book I have time to make pork belly in any way other than in a slow cooker. While it required my attention for longer than did the slow cooker method, I actually found this way to be easier. I hope that makes sense…if nothing else this is a great way to prep a slab for cooking later.

Basically, you braise the thing for a few hours, let it cool in the fridge for a while, cut it up into chunks (or probably even leave it whole) and pan sear it. Boom.

This is going to be a thing. I did see a thing on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives the other day about pork belly on a stick. That’s going to need to happen soon, like, real soon.

Pan Seared Pork Belly with Rosemary and Thyme
Author: 
Serves: 4-6
 
Ingredients
  • 1.5 to 2 lbs pork belly
  • 3-4 c chicken stock
  • 1 T coarse sea salt
  • 1 T rosemary
  • 1 T thyme
  • olive oil
Instructions
  1. Mix your seasonings together and rub them all over the pork belly, top and bottom.
  2. Place the pork belly in a baking dish and fill with about an inch of chicken stock.
  3. Cover tightly with foil and place in a 300 degree oven for 3 hours.
  4. Remove from the oven, pour off the chicken stock, and refrigerate for at least 4 hours. This can also be done overnight to prepare the next day.
  5. Remove the cooled pork belly to a cutting board.
  6. Cut the pork into 1.5-2 inch cubes.
  7. Heat some olive oil over medium high heat.
  8. Using tongs, sear each pork belly cube on each side for a couple of minutes, until crispy.

 

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Quicker, Lighter Fish and Chips

If you know me at all, you know I really don’t care about making sure my recipes are “light” or “healthy” or “skinny” or whatever.  The Paleo/Primal way of eating, by definition, is a hell of a lot better than the Standard American Diet, and I’ve found that just avoiding crappy ingredients makes a world of difference–even when you’re making comfort food.  Fish and Chips happens to be one of my all time favorite comfort foods, so I got some tilapia and some sweet potatoes, was all set to make up a nice batter and fry everything up in some coconut oil, and then…I just pooped out.  I’m mid-move, you guys.  I’m tired.  I’m cranky.  I just wanted dinner on the table when Ross came home and was NOT in the mood for anything requiring any cranial activity.

Image

So, here’s what I did…I made sweet potato fries like I always do, except with some vinegar because that’s how they always give them to you when the whole mess is served out of a truck wrapped in newspaper.  Then I took the fish, threw them on a baking sheet, and seasoned the heck out of them with all the flavors that you’d expect from the fried variety.  Think lemon, thyme, a little oregano, garlic, and (obviously) salt.  I know every recipe varies the batter a little bit but I really tried to capture what I would say (in my own experience) is the quintessential fish and chips experience.  And it definitely did not disappoint.  But I was tired, so maybe I’m just full of it.  Either way, the whole thing took 30 minutes, most of it spent racked on the couch, so I’ll call that a win.

Quicker, Lighter Fish and Chips
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 2
 
Ingredients
  • 2 large sweet potatoes
  • 2 T apple cider vinegar
  • 2 T olive oil
  • salt
  • 2 tilapia or cod filets
  • 1 t oregano
  • 1 t thyme
  • 1 t garlic powder
  • 1 t onion powder
  • 1 T salt
  • ½ lemon
Instructions
  1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
  2. Cut your potatoes up into fries. Place them in a mixing bowl with the vinegar, oil, and salt and mix them up really well.
  3. Spread on a baking sheet and place in the oven for 30 minutes
  4. Place your filets on a baking sheet.
  5. Mix up all the seasonings and sprinkle over the tilapia filets.
  6. Squeeze the juice of the lemon over the filets.
  7. After the sweet potatoes have been cooking for 15 minutes, place the tray of fish into the oven with them. Bake 15 minutes more.

 

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Cumin Spiced Fried Plantains w/ Collard Greens and Roasted Peppers and Onions

I have been doing a lot of Vegan meals lately, haven’t I?

Fried Plantains with Collard Greens and Roeasted Peppers and Onions

The way I see it, making at least one meal a day is 100% plant-based is a phenomenal way to get an array of veggies and nutrients in my diet.  I’ve ranted about it before, but the one thing anyone or any “diet” can agree on is that we could all use more veggies.  Over the years, what I would consider to be “My Paleo” has certainly changed–I’m kind’ve over the whole eat-nothing-but-giant-hunks-of-meat-all-day-every-day.  Nowadays it’s more like a 25/75 split between animals and plants.  I eat my eggs with greens and grilled veggies…my steaks with tons of salad and sweet potatoes…and even have the occasional meal that’s purely plant-based (my mornings lately have begun with fruit, kale, and coconut milk “ice cream” topped with Paleo Krunch).  “My Paleo” now is a lot more balanced and I’ve noticed such a huge difference in how I look and feel.  This past year I lost 15 pounds and just feel…better.

I really do agree with a lot of the thoughts behind Veganism–namely that processed “foods” are, well, crap, and that we’re missing out on so many of the valuable nutrients in plants.  I’m also sympathetic to the moral arguments…I’m not against eating animals, since humans need a lot of nutrients from the muscles and organs of others and have evolved to consume them, but I am against eating factory farmed animals subjected to inhumane conditions both because it’s unhealthy for them and unhealthy animals make unhealthy meat and because, frankly, it’s just cruel.

I’ve slowly become the people from Portlandia who insist that their chickens need to be happy and have little chicken friends to lend a shoulder when they feel sad.

ANYWAY, let’s talk about last night’s dinner.  As far as I’m concerned, plantains are always a good idea…I’d think of this as almost a deconstructed mofongo.  I added the collards as almost an afterthought and am SO glad I did.  They really do add a nice bitterness to balance the sweet of the plantains and coconut oil and make everything just a little more vibrant.  As a main dish, it’s perfect over cauli rice but I’d bet that it would be great with a root vegetable mash, big baked potato, or even as a side.

Cumin Spiced Fried Plantains w/ Collard Greens and Roasted Peppers and Onions
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 2-4
 
Ingredients
  • ¼ c coconut oil
  • 3 large plantains, peeled and sliced
  • 2 onions, sliced
  • 2 red bell peppers, sliced
  • 4 cups collard greens, washed and chopped
  • 1 t chili powder
  • 1 t cumin
  • 1 t black pepper
  • Salt
Instructions
  1. Heat the oils over medium high heat in a high sided skillet
  2. Add the plantain slices, frying about 2 mins per side until golden brown. Remove with a slotted spoon, leaving the oil behind.
  3. Add the peppers and onions. Fry in the remaining oil until soft.
  4. Reduce the heat to medium and add back the plantains and add the collards and seasoning, stirring to coat everything with the coconut oil and spices.
  5. Cover and allow to simmer for 15-20 minutes, or until the collards are nice and soft. You can definitely leave it longer if needed--the flavors will only get richer!

 

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