We finally got all our stuff out of the Baltimore house yesterday—one thing I realized I miss from the Army was the fact that whenever you had to move, some moving company would just magically show up and four hours later, all your stuff was gone. Whether it would make it to where you needed to go was another story but considering we aren’t even taking possession of the new place for a month, I’m not thinking that far ahead. Either way. Moving yourself is awful. Righteously awful.
Fun fact…there is a Law of the Unviverse that states that no matter how hard you try, you will never—NEVER—fit all of your household goods inside your POD, despite more trips to Goodwill than I care to count and a pile of trash bags in the back alley I’m pretty sure could shield the place from a nuclear war. So, that was my weekend.
I know baking is probably the last thing anyone wants to do in the middle of the summer, except it’s the first thing I want to do every second of every day of the year so I’m posting this anyway. Y’all know I’ve been on my Vegan kick lately and I recently extended said Vegan kick into the realm of baked goods. I did try to make a Paleo/Vegan bread a while back (I’m still racking my brain for a way to make that happen) but for now I’m settling for this lovely creation.
It’s seriously delicious, not to mention versatile. Dudes, I made French Toast and sandwiches and toast with butter and jam and PBJ andandand they all held up. The pain with GF baked goods of any kind is that they can really be dry and crumbly, and doubly so when you have to eliminate eggs and dairy from the mix. I don’t know what it is about this specific combo of ingredients but it works beautifully. I had to experiment a little—it took me one miserable failure and two not-so-miserable-but-still-imperfect attempts to figure out the magic behind it and here is what I found/the ONE change I made…
When she says mix the ingredients until “just combined,” seriously, yo…do NOT overmix. Mix up all your dry ingredients REALLY well before you add the wet stud and mix by hand slowly and carefully until it comes together. Overmixing will produce a nasty sinkhole.
Only let it rise 30 minutes. I know it says 30-45 but too long and a) it might overflow and/or b) it’ll sink whilst baking.
I added a tablespoon of psyllium husk powder. I swear by this stuff.
Does not freeze well. I unthawed a loaf I had frozen fresh and it turned to sand.
Let the loaf cool either upside down or on its side. I know some folks think this is an Old Wive’s Tale, but it makes me feel better. So there.
I took a little hiatus from the Internet for the Lenten season, which is at least part of the reason my last post was forever ago…except school has me pretty much clawing at water so the break from not only social media but, well, everything online was amazing for my study habits. Suddenly I realized where all that time went when I was all like, “OMG I have no TIME to study!”
I haven’t been cooking much, either. It’s terrible. 90% of my food consumption since February has come out of a crockpot. I could make some fancy posts about it all…but it was pretty much either beef or pork. Like, whatever giant hunk of meat I saw first at the store. Tossed it right in there and pressed the go button. Boom. Week of meals right there.
BUT! I finally got around to some baking for Easter brunch. Yay, muffins! Nothing crazy, but as always, a little experimentation with some oldies turned into something glorious. I made my first batch last week and this one is definitely a winner. It’s the first time I’ve used psyllium husk in baking but it really does give a much more gluten-y texture without giving me the bubble guts like a lot of gums out there. If you don’t have it, it’s totally skip-able, but it really does add a little oomf. Feel free to add nuts or chocolate chips or whatever, too…I guess I’m just boring.
**This is a re-post from last winter…I probably made a dozen batches of these as gifts and, well…for myself. I made a few tweaks since it went up last year and it’s already making an appearance for this holiday season so I’m sharing again!**
As I was a-stalking the interwebz last year I found this recipe. Couldn’t not do it. Just couldn’t. I love eggnog. I love chocolate. I LOVE that it’s required on pain of death to keep my house full of baked goods during the whole month of December.
So, um…eggnog isn’t Paleo! Oh, wait…I HIGHLY recommend this Paleo eggnog recipe from Health-Bent. (I like maple syrup instead of sugar for this one). It’s totally bonkers, you guys. Even if you’re too lazy to bake it into anything, just do it because eggnog is awesome. I also found some great organic nog at Safeway that’s Primal-friendly (it’s got heavy cream in it), so all hope isn’t lost if you don’t feel like making your own, either. If you’re like a certain husband of mine (*cough*) who doesn’t like eggnog for some godawful reason…just…just get out. Now.
Know what would be awesome? If I could be a size 0 and wear whatever I wanted and look amazing. I whine about this a lot and my husband hates it. Then at some point it dawns on me that I have an almost sociopathic fetish for food and I’m all like, “Oh, wait…if I have to eat like a movie star I’ll go fracking insane.” Which I will. Just ask my husband.
I’m much happier with a bellyfull of pumpkin and maple syrup.
I mean, isn’t breakfast the most important meal of the day? Or something?
No? It’s OK. This makes and great lunch/dinner/snack/pre-WO/post-WO/midnight/3 am/happy hour/whenever kinda deal.
I went for a jog the other day. I pronounce it “YOG”. Mostly because Anchorman has, indeed, had that kind of influence on my life and vocabulary. But also because I sincerely despise jogging…or running, whatever you wanna call it…and I refuse to talk about it with any kind of respect. Today my calves are still screaming at me and I have a bazillion blisters on my feet because, well, it’s been that long. Last time I act on impulse when it comes to exercise. Oh, the weather is SOOO nice today? Let’s go for a JOG, eh? Oh. HELL NO.
You know what IS appropriate for fall weather? Um, pumpkin things. Preferably baked pumpkin things…although I have this weird obsession with the memory of this pumpkin ravioli I used to order at Bacchus in New Paltz, NY after a long day of climbing. They also had like, a million kinds of beer from pretty much every country and if you drank one from every country you got a free T-shirt. PS, I also love(-ed) pumpkin beer. I will seriously make myself your slave for life if you can tell me where to find gluten free pumpkin beer.
I dream about this pumpkin bread. You’ll dream about it, too, you just wait and see. I even made French toast with it. Praise me.
I kind of feel like I live alternately between military and civilian. Mostly because so few of my civilian friends are married, engaged, or even thinking about getting hitched and all my military friends are over here like, “Bitch please…I got married 5 years ago.” Yeah, that was me married at 23. My civilian counterparts are ALMOST done judging me. Oh, except now my military friends are all popping out their SECOND babies. That’s kinda where they left me behind…not only am I not in any way to produce offspring (I’m told it hurts), but the best possible birth control is a good friend with a toddler. Seriously.
Which brings be to my PSA of the week…guys, if you ARE having babies, that’s totally cool. Really. You’re better people than me. But for the love of Christmas can we stop taking creepy infant and pregnancy photos? Here’s a rule of thumb…if you can’t re-create a photo with your adult child without it being normal or at least cute…please, please don’t do it. Or at least don’t put it out there on social media for the world to see. Like balancing your naked baby where your bump used to be…or laying around naked with your naked baby…or tattooing a picture of your naked baby on your bump and taking a picture of yourself with an Abercrombie-like expression. (Yes, I have seen all of those.) Actually, can we just stop taking naked pictures of ourselves and posting them online? Nobody needs to see that. There are special websites for that, and last I checked, Facebook wasn’t one of them (although some of the ads I’m getting have been making me wonder…).
OMG we’re like a month away from Fall…and all the pumpkin-y deliciousness that comes with it. Spoiler…I’ve already started baking pumpkin things. But I can’t share just yet…that would mean I have a problem. Either way, I still need baked goods in my life that I CAN brag about, so here ya go.
What the heck is a summer berry? Um…all of them. Seriously, go crazy. I used cherries (my FAVE), blueberries, and raspberries. Just go with whatever you like. Oh, and remember strawberries aren’t really berries sooooo you’re out of luck there. But apparently bananas and tomatoes and avocados are. Huh. These could potentially get really gross. Don’t be TOOcreative, mmk?
Does it still retain “cupcake” status if you eat it for breakfast?
So if you follow me on Facebook at all you know I’m about knee-deep in a 21-Day Sugar Detox right now. It’s my third one ever and definitely easier by now. This summer…and a cross-country move…and my first semester of pre-med…and these…and these…kinda left me with a donut around my middle. Plus sugar just isn’t very good for you. Even though it knows just how to make me feel so good. Sugar’s a jerk.
I ended up with these kind of by accident. I was playing around with muffin recipes (again) because they’re just the easiest thing to toss in a baggie for breakfast when I have a morning lecture…and then I got these, which despite having ZERO sugar (natural or otherwise), taste just like carrot cake. Seriously, I think these will give my best carrot cake recipe a run for its money. Or maybe it’s just that I’m at that point where I haven’t had any sugar in a week and EVERYTHING tastes sweet. I dunno. I still can’t get enough of ‘em, though.
My interest is usually piqued when I see an muffin named after a pie. I mean, how do you DO that without making a mini pie? Or just a muffin with fruit in it? Fun fact: these muffins taste like apple pie with all the softness and moist crumbliness of a muffin. The secret is to keep your apple chunks juuuuuuuust the right size. Not so tiny that you’re just making an apple muffin but not so huge that they don’t cook through. I actually sliced mine on a mandolin (on the 1/8 inch setting) and then gave ‘em a rough chop after that so that they looked like shards of glass. That’s a horrible metaphor…but really, think shards of glass.
The result is a warm, soft muffin with ooey-gooey pockets of that apple-cinnamon goop that makes actual apple pies so awesome. But without the effort of making an actual pie. How efficient of me