Archive of ‘Breakfast’ category

Bacon Banana Pancakes

Ever mixed red and white wine together? You know, just to see what would happen? Yeah, don’t. Just know I made that sacrifice for you. Moving on.

Bacon Banana Pancakes

I just finished reading The Matchmaker last week—and yes, I cried (no, BAWLED) at the end…and for about three days after. Such a good book. I even made Ross help me plan a hypothetical trip to Nantucket, which would totally not have been hypothetical if we had disposable income at the moment. *Sigh*

Bacon Banana Pancakes 2

If nothing else, people on Nantucket seem to eat fresh made gourmet food all day long. Every day. I can’t stop thinking about Box having a breakfast of cheddar scones over coffee every morning at the waterside B&B whilst courting Danbey. I have resolved to make cheddar scones and eat them on my front porch as soon as we move into the new place. Only a few more weeks…crashing with your parents not cool. And way less cool when you’re married and are, like, 30 years old.

We spent last week in Florida, though, with my in-laws. Still crashing with parents, but when you’re in Florida it’s easier to pretend you have a Bayside vacation home. So being a *vacation*, I made pancakes all week long. Obviously. The only exception being a couple of trips to Serendipity…their French Toast and Cornmeal Pancakes are beyond words.

Ever since my mom got me a jumbo bag of Namaste Foods Perfect Flour Blend from Costco, I’ve been using that. Remember that, when cooking with gluten free flours, no two are really the same so if you’re using another brand, the measurements may differ slightly. I’ve made pancakes using other brands of GF AP flour and some with my own blends with success as well, but the important thing is to add a little at a time to make sure the consistency is good.

Adapted from this recipe.

Bacon Banana Pancakes
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 2-4
 
Ingredients
  • 1 cup GF flour blend (I use Namaste Foods Perfect Flour Blend these days)
  • 1 T baking powder
  • pinch salt
  • 1 c milk of choice (I used vanilla almond milk)
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 ripe banana, mashed
  • 2 thick slices of bacon
Instructions
  1. Cut the bacon into lardons.
  2. In a skillet over medium-high heat, cook the bacon until crisp.
  3. Meanwhile, combine the remaining ingredients into your batter.
  4. When the bacon is done, reduce heat to medium.
  5. Add the bacon AND the drippings (the drippings add the flavor and are why we don't need to add oil or butter to the batter).
  6. By ¼ to ⅓ cup-fulls, pour batter onto the hot skillet used to cook the bacon. Wait until bubbles form, then flip.
  7. Serve with maple syrup and toppings of choice!

 

 

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Marbled Pound Cake

Clearly, Pinterest wasn’t a thing in the early 90′s, but my mom was a huge clipper of recipes from magazines, newspapers, boxes, etc.  Even now, there’s still an enormous pile of clippings in the living room at their house I *love* sifting through every time I come over.

paleo marble pound cake

A few months back, I came across a page out of Food and Wine magazine for a marbled pound cake–this was actually one of the first things I baked all by myself and I was kind of obsessed.  Cake for breakfast, people.

Clearly I needed to make this happen again.  I mean, if it’s finally warm enough to have coffee on the patio in the morning, I really need something sweet to dunk.

Marbled Pound Cake
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 8
 
Ingredients
  • ½ c coconut flour
  • 1 t baking soda
  • 1 t psyllium husk powder
  • 6 eggs
  • ½ cashew butter
  • ½ c honey
  • 1 t vanilla
  • 1 t apple cider vinegar
  • 2 T cocoa powder
  • 2 T coconut milk
Instructions
  1. Combine your dry ingredients (except cocoa powder) and set aside.
  2. Cream together the eggs, cashew butter, honey, vanilla, and vinegar.
  3. Add the dry mixture and beat *very* well until smooth.
  4. Pour ¾ of the batter into a prepared loaf pan.
  5. Add the cocoa powder and coconut milk to the remaining ¼ of the batter. Mix well.
  6. Pour the chocolate layer on top of the batter in the pan. Using a clean knife, swirl the chocolate layer slightly through the vanilla layer.
  7. Bake at 350 degrees for 50-55 minutes, until a knife comes out clean.

 

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Banana Bread Muffins

I took a little hiatus from the Internet for the Lenten season, which is at least part of the reason my last post was forever ago…except school has me pretty much clawing at water so the break from not only social media but, well, everything online was amazing for my study habits.  Suddenly I realized where all that time went when I was all like, “OMG I have no TIME to study!”

I haven’t been cooking much, either.  It’s terrible.  90% of my food consumption since February has come out of a crockpot.  I could make some fancy posts about it all…but it was pretty much either beef or pork.  Like, whatever giant hunk of meat I saw first at the store.  Tossed it right in there and pressed the go button.  Boom.  Week of meals right there.

banana bread muffins paleo

BUT!  I finally got around to some baking for Easter brunch.  Yay, muffins!  Nothing crazy, but as always, a little experimentation with some oldies turned into something glorious.  I made my first batch last week and this one is definitely a winner.  It’s the first time I’ve used psyllium husk in baking but it really does give a much more gluten-y texture without giving me the bubble guts like a lot of gums out there.  If you don’t have it, it’s totally skip-able, but it really does add a little oomf.  Feel free to add nuts or chocolate chips or whatever, too…I guess I’m just boring.

5.0 from 1 reviews
Banana Bread Muffins
Author: 
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 15
 
Ingredients
  • ½ c coconut flour
  • 6 eggs
  • ½ c cashew butter
  • 3 ripe bananas
  • ¼ c maple syrup or honey
  • 1 t baking soda
  • 1 t cinnamon
  • 1 t vanilla
  • 1 t vinegar
  • 1 T psyllium husk powder
Instructions
  1. Mash the bananas with the cashew butter and maple syrup (or honey) in a large mixing bowl.
  2. Add the dry ingredients, vanilla, and eggs to this mixture.
  3. Beat the batter with an electric mixer for 3 minutes on high, until fluffy.
  4. Add the vinegar and beat for about a minute more.
  5. Spoon into prepared muffin tins about ¾ high.
  6. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes.
  7. Makes 15 muffins

 

 

 

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Breakfast Cookies

Ah, mornings.  How quickly you lose your appeal once I have to start getting up for school again.

I really shouldn’t complain.  My husband is up around 4:45 every morning for work since his commute is hellacious (welcome to the mid-atlantic…), and it was he who inspired me to make these little guys.

paleo breakfast cookies |notsodesperatehousewife.com

You see, my darling husband is kind of a manorexic child.  And I’m kind of an overbearing, secretly 80 year old housewife.  He’s one of these people who just…won’t eat if he feels like it’s easier to stay in bed an extra 5 minutes than to eat something.  And it drive me bonkers…mostly because he’ll bitch for days about how tired he feels and wonder if he’s sick.  No, dear, you’re just starving to death.  I imagine mothers of teenagers feel the same.

If a cookie is too much work to grab first thing in the morning, then I suppose you’re beyond help…

5.0 from 1 reviews
Breakfast Cookies
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 12
 
Ingredients
  • 1 c coconut flour
  • 4 eggs
  • ¼ c almond meal
  • 2 mashed bananas
  • ¼ c coconut
  • ½ c coconut oil
  • ½ t baking soda
  • 1 t vanilla
  • 1 t cinnamon
  • ¼ t nutmeg
  • ¼ t salt
  • ¼ c raisins
  • ¼ c pepitas
Instructions
  1. Mix together the coconut flour, eggs, baking soda, bananas, coconut, almond meal, coconut oil, vanilla, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
  2. Stir in the raisins and pepitas.
  3. Form little balls of cookies dough and press down onto a prepared cookie sheet so you have flat rounds of your desired size.
  4. Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 mins, until the cookies are slightly browned.

 

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Peanut Butter and Jelly Muffins

…without peanut butter.  Obviously.  Fair warning: I think these are great when made with sunflower seed butter, but they’ll be green.  No joke.  Chemistry wins again.  So I just used chunky almond butter.

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I used my Roasted Strawberry Jam in these but any Paleo-friendly (or not…I won’t tell) jelly or jam is fine!

5.0 from 3 reviews
Peanut Butter and Jelly Muffins
Author: 
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 12
 
Ingredients
  • ½ c coconut flour
  • 6 eggs
  • ½ c applesauce
  • ½ c almond butter (or any nut butter...or coconut butter for nut free)
  • 1 t baking soda
  • 1 t vanilla
  • pinch salt
  • About ½ c or so of jelly or jam
Instructions
  1. Combine all your dry ingredients.
  2. Beat the eggs with the cashew butter and vanilla. Stir in the applesauce.
  3. Add the dry ingredients to the wet and stir to combine.
  4. Spoon into your lined cupcake tins to about ½ full.
  5. use a spoon to make a little well in the batter and place a teaspoon or two of jelly inside. Top with a little more batter, ensuring that no jelly peeks out.
  6. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes, until the muffins are lightly browned on top.
  7. Makes 1 dozen muffins.

 

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Pumpkin Pie Granola

I’ve been on a cereal kick lately.  I dunno…I think it’s because I read the article on LBEB criticizing “clean” eating and the constant references to Cinnamon Toast Crunch were getting to me.

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My latest concoction is granola, fried apples, and almond milk.  Fall in a bowl.  I love Fall.  Find me a place where it’s Fall year-round and I’ll never, ever leave.

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So…you don’t like eating granola like cereal?  How bout…on baked apples…on ice cream (or banana froyo!)…on pancakes or french toast…as a topping for banana bread…instead of bread crumbs in stuffing (no, really!)…

Adapted from this recipe.

5.0 from 1 reviews
Pumpkin Pie Granola
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 8
 
Ingredients
  • ½ cup sliced almonds
  • ½ cup pumpkin seeds
  • ½ cup pecans, chopped
  • ½ c raisins
  • ½ c dried cranberries (or any other dried fruit you'd like!)
  • ⅔ cup pumpkin puree
  • ⅓ cup coconut oil, melted
  • ½ cup unsweetened shredded coconut
  • ¼ cup maple syrup (optional if on 21DSD)
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 tablespoons pumpkin pie spice
  • pinch salt
Instructions
  1. Mix everything together in a big bowl.
  2. Spread on a parchment lined baking sheet.
  3. Bake for 20 minutes at 325. Remove from the oven and stir everything around a bit.
  4. Return to the oven for 20 more minutes.
  5. Remove from the oven and let cool completely.

 

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The. Best. Protein. Pancakes. EVER.

I eat a lot of pancakes.  Like….a whooooollllleeeee heck of a lot.  And I’m always searching for that something special, and for the longest time, I thought I had it. Yeah, well…I guess you could say I left my old flame for a younger, fresher, fluffier batch.

I owe 99.99999% of the credit for this recipe to Rose–a hell of a lady who happens to be training for another figure competition this fall.  I mean, I did make a few changes that may or may not have been unintentional.  Whatevs.

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Even though I’ve hung up my heels (for now…) to focus on school, I like to live vicariously through her.  She’s got some great recipes (try the taco salad…NOW) and workouts that make me want to cry.  You know, the good kind of crying that we gym sadists live for.

Anyhoo, these pancakes make a great, filling breakfast and seriously taste like birthday cake.  Lovelovelove them.

**You can use any kind of protein you want (I prefer whey), but just add another 1/4 cup of almond or coconut milk if you use casein or rice protein or any kind that tends to get super thick.

4.4 from 11 reviews
Super Fluffy Coconut Vanilla Protein Pancakes
Author: 
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 1
 
Ingredients
  • 3 T coconut flour
  • ¼ t baking powder
  • 1 scoop vanilla protein (whey, casein, pea, rice, whatever...see note)**
  • 3 eggs
  • ¼-1/3 c almond or coconut milk
Instructions
  1. Whisk all the ingredients together until no lumps remain.
  2. Heat a skillet or griddle to medium heat and add some coconut oil
  3. Drop the batter by ⅓-cup fulls onto the skillet.
  4. Cook for about 2-ish mins per side, until golden, then flip.
  5. Bon apetit!

 

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Pumpkin Struesel French Toast

Know what would be awesome?  If I could be a size 0 and wear whatever I wanted and look amazing.  I whine about this a lot and my husband hates it.  Then at some point it dawns on me that I have an almost sociopathic fetish for food and I’m all like, “Oh, wait…if I have to eat like a movie star I’ll go fracking insane.”  Which I will.  Just ask my husband.

I’m much happier with a bellyfull of pumpkin and maple syrup.

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I mean, isn’t breakfast the most important meal of the day?  Or something?

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No?  It’s OK.  This makes and great lunch/dinner/snack/pre-WO/post-WO/midnight/3 am/happy hour/whenever kinda deal.

Note: the recipe for my Pumpkin Struesel Bread can be found HERE.

Pumpkin Struesel French Toast
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 4
 
Ingredients
  • 1 loaf of my pumpkin stuesel bread, sliced
  • 1 c coconut milk
  • 3 eggs
  • pinch salt
  • 1 t vanilla
  • coconut oil for frying
Instructions
  1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
  2. Whisk together the coconut milk, eggs, salt, and vanilla.
  3. Heat the coconut oil in a skillet over medium heat.
  4. Dip the slices of bread into the egg mixture and allow to soak for a minute or so.
  5. Fry the slices, 2 at a time, for 2-3 minutes per side or until golden brown.
  6. Remove to a baking pan and place in the oven for 5 minutes.
  7. Serve with maple syrup and pastured butter.

 

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Crunchy Pumpkin Struesel Bread

I went for a jog the other day.  I pronounce it “YOG”.  Mostly because Anchorman has, indeed, had that kind of influence on my life and vocabulary.  But also because I sincerely despise jogging…or running, whatever you wanna call it…and I refuse to talk about it with any kind of respect.  Today my calves are still screaming at me and I have a bazillion blisters on my feet because, well, it’s been that long.  Last time I act on impulse when it comes to exercise.  Oh, the weather is SOOO nice today?  Let’s go for a JOG, eh?  Oh.  HELL  NO.

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You know what IS appropriate for fall weather?  Um, pumpkin things.  Preferably baked pumpkin things…although I have this weird obsession with the memory of this pumpkin ravioli I used to order at Bacchus in New Paltz, NY after a long day of climbing.  They also had like, a million kinds of beer from pretty much every country and if you drank one from every country you got a free T-shirt.  PS, I also love(-ed) pumpkin beer.  I will seriously make myself your slave for life if you can tell me where to find gluten free pumpkin beer.

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I dream about this pumpkin bread.  You’ll dream about it, too, you just wait and see.  I even made French toast with it.  Praise me.

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5.0 from 1 reviews
Crunchy Pumpkin Struesel Bread
Author: 
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 12
 
Ingredients
  • ½ c coconut flour
  • ½ t salt
  • ½ t baking soda
  • ½ t baking powder
  • 5 eggs
  • 2 egg whites
  • ½ c cashew butter
  • ½ c pumpkin
  • ½ t vanilla
  • 2 t pumpkin pie spice
  • ½ t cinnamon
  • 1 T lemon zest
  • ⅓ c dark maple syrup
  • ⅓ c chopped pecans
  • Struesel:
  • 1 c chopped pecans
  • ½ c shredded coconut
  • 1 t pumpkin pie spice
  • 1 t cinnamon
  • 1 T coconut oil, melted
  • 2 T maple syrup
Instructions
  1. Combine all your dry ingredients.
  2. Beat the eggs and egg whites with the cashew butter, pumpkin, maple syrup, lemon zest, and vanilla.
  3. Add the dry ingredients to the wet and stir to combine.
  4. Beat with an electric mixer on HIGH for 2 minutes (this step is key to a good, fluffy texture).
  5. Fold in the pecans.
  6. Pour batter into a lined loaf pan.
  7. Combine 1 c chopped pecans, ½ c coconut, 1 t pumpkin pie spice, 1 t cinnamon, 1 T coconut oil, and 2 T maple syrup.
  8. Top the batter with the struesel mixture
  9. Bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes, until the bread is lightly browned and passes the toothpick test.

 

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Blueberries N’ (Dairy Free) Cream Pancakes

I kind of feel like I live alternately between military and civilian.  Mostly because so few of my civilian friends are married, engaged, or even thinking about getting hitched and all my military friends are over here like, “Bitch please…I got married 5 years ago.”  Yeah, that was me married at 23.  My civilian counterparts are ALMOST done judging me.  Oh, except now my military friends are all popping out their SECOND babies.  That’s kinda where they left me behind…not only am I not in any way to produce offspring (I’m told it hurts), but the best possible birth control is a good friend with a toddler.  Seriously.

Which brings be to my PSA of the week…guys, if you ARE having babies, that’s totally cool.  Really.  You’re better people than me.  But for the love of Christmas can we stop taking creepy infant and pregnancy photos?  Here’s a rule of thumb…if you can’t re-create a photo with your adult child without it being normal or at least cute…please, please don’t do it.  Or at least don’t put it out there on social media for the world to see.  Like balancing your naked baby where your bump used to be…or laying around naked with your naked baby…or tattooing a picture of your naked baby on your bump and taking a picture of yourself with an Abercrombie-like expression.  (Yes, I have seen all of those.)  Actually, can we just stop taking naked pictures of ourselves and posting them online?  Nobody needs to see that.  There are special websites for that, and last I checked, Facebook wasn’t one of them (although some of the ads I’m getting have been making me wonder…).

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So less naked people.  More pancakes.

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Yes.  Peace, love, and pancakes.

4.0 from 1 reviews
Blueberries N' Cream Pancakes
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 2-3
 
Ingredients
  • 3 Green Bananas
  • 2 T Coconut Manna (coconut oil works well too)
  • 2 Eggs
  • 2 Egg Whites
  • ½ t Almond Extract
  • ½ t Cinnamon
  • 1 pt. Blueberries
  • ¼ c Water
  • 2 c raw cashews, soaked for 3-4 hours
  • ½ c coconut milk
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 T coconut oil
  • 1 t vanilla
Instructions
  1. Pancakes:
  2. In a food processor or blender, puree bananas, coconut manna, eggs, egg whites, almond extract, and cinnamon.
  3. Pour onto a skillet over medium heat.
  4. Cook for about 1-2 mins per side, then flip.
  5. Blueberry Topping:
  6. In a microwave safe dish, mix the blueberries in the water.
  7. Nuke for 1 minute at a time for about 3 or 4 minutes, until blueberries are juicy and soft.
  8. For the cashew cream,
  9. Soak the cashews in water for at least 2 hours, then drain off the water.
  10. Pulse the soaked cashews in a food processor until you have a fine meal.
  11. Add the coconut milk, lemon juice, vanilla, maple syrup and coconut oil.
  12. Run the food processor until you have a creamy consistency like cream cheese.
  13. Top pancakes with blueberry topping and cashew cream!

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